What exactly IS a relationship?
Is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word relationship, a “romantic” relationship? 🧐
In truth we are ALWAYS in a relationship! Relationships are ALL the people in our life and everybody around us …so basically .. we cannot NOT be in a relationship! 🤯
So, it’s not so much a question of if we are in a relationship with someone but more how are all of our relationships? And what is the quality of the relationships we have, including the one with our-self!
It’s not about being perfect but about developing more love and respect for yourself or another 💛
A relationship with yourself is about caring for yourself and others, but without putting yourself last. A myth can be if we put ourselves first and not others then we are selfish but if we do this then we could end up constantly overriding our feelings which could end up in an explosion of anger or frustration 🤬 or feeling or thinking less about ourselves and we are not important #lowselfesteem 😞
So it’s cool to honour your feelings first. If we make all of our relationships about love and respect this becomes the foundation and it’s pretty hard to go wrong from there.
Every relationship offers us a reflection to learn, a space to grow and to allow more understanding of ourselves and each other. Even if a relationship is toxic or unhealthy in walking away from it you are empowering yourself saying yes to love and no to abuse and in doing this you also become a role model for others to be able to do the same.
Are ‘good’ relationships rare? 😶
You might feel like this is true, that being in, or having, a relationship with a partner that is awesome is not something you have experienced or seen that others have. Instead, you might be used to dramas (or observing the dramas other people have) which is all quite exhausting.
A good place to start is to first ask yourself, why do you want to be in a relationship with a partner? Is it because:
- you feel you are ready for a relationship and would like to be in one
- that you really like/fancy someone
- because most of your friends are in a relationship
- part of you wants someone to fill your needs of being loved or feeling loved and wanted by someone.
Honesty with yourself for this part is pretty important!
Never feel like you have to rush into something you are not ready for, and don’t settle for something that doesn’t feel right just for the sake of being with someone.
Sometimes we have so many expectations of others and ourselves that it makes it hard just to be ourselves. Do you know that feeling? That you feel you have to be in a certain way or the other person won’t like you? So, when we meet someone we pretend to be what we believe they want or need us to be not allowing ourselves to just be who we are. Sounds pretty unsatisfying!
Not only that it can build up frustration and anger and create a cycle of self-abuse, resentment and hurt #toxicrelationship
If good relationships feel like they are rare to you maybe also ask yourself why are you hanging out with people where this is rare? What are your friend’s experiences? Just talking about it can bring more insight and inspiration to do things a different way #youhavethepowertochangeyourlife 🤗
Why not just be the Real U
Basing a relationship on honesty allows trust and love to expand between you, because nobody tries to fit into a picture, you are just being who you are which allows you to feel complete…wow!
How could we be just ourselves?
Accepting ourselves for who we are. There is no image out there in the world that will ever match the grandness you are when being just you! ✨This includes being able to express how you feel (of course respecting the other person when we saying how we feel .. freedom to express is not freedom to abuse!)
Trying to be someone else is unsustainable and hard work and you will never be able to really trust another, because you don’t even trust yourself, because you are not allowing yourself to be true to you .. and you know it!! You know that you are playing a game, so don’t be surprised if the other does as well 😬