Forms of Violence
PSYCHOLOGICAL/EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE
Psychological violence includes behaviours that aim to cause emotional or mental harm. It may not hurt your body but can be just as painful and distressing in other ways. No one behaves perfectly in their relationships all the time. However, when someone deliberately hurts you over and over again it becomes abusive. Behaviour from others that aim to make you feel scared or bad about yourself is abuse.
- Emotional abuse:
can involve any of the following:
- Verbal abuse:
yelling at you, insulting you or swearing at you. - Rejection:
constantly rejecting your thoughts, ideas and opinions. - Gaslighting:
making you doubt your own feelings and thoughts, and even your sanity, by manipulating the truth. - Put-downs:
calling you names or telling you that you’re stupid, publicly embarrassing you, blaming you for everything. - Causing fear:
making you feel afraid, intimidated or threatened. - Isolation:
limiting your freedom of movement, stopping you from contacting other people (such as friends or family). It may also include stopping you from doing the things you normally do – social activities, sports, school, etc.
The scars of emotional abuse are real and long-lasting, undermining your self-confidence and self-esteem, as well as causing depression, anxiousness or even suicidal thoughts.
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
Physical violence basically involves a person using physical force against you, which causes, or could cause, you harm. Physical abuse can involve any of the following violent acts:
- Scratching or biting
- Pushing or shoving
- Slapping, kicking
- Choking or strangling
- Throwing things
- Using objects that could hurt you
- Physically restraining you (such as pinning you against a wall, floor, bed, etc.)
- Reckless driving or other acts that hurt or threaten you
Many survivors of physical abuse say that the violence started with just a slap or a push, but then became more intense over time.
SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Sexual violence is when someone forces or manipulates someone else into unwanted sexual activity including attempts to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances, without their consent. Those who sexually abuse can be acquaintances, family members, trusted individuals or strangers. Studies show that sexual abuse and violence can often occur within the family or by people that are close to the victim/survivor. In a lot of cases, the victims knew their attacker or at least knew who they were from before.
Sexual violence includes different criminal behaviours such as rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment or sextortion.
DATE RAPE: forced sex that can happen on a date but also somewhere like a party with someone the victim may know, like, or even be interested in.
Here are three key things to know about rape:
- The person who gets raped is not to blame. Rape is always the rapist’s fault. People never “ask for it” because of the clothes they wear or the way they act. If sex is forced against someone’s will, it’s rape.
- Rape is not always violent. If you say “no,” but the person doesn’t respect your wishes and talks you into something that you don’t want, it’s rape.
- Rape is not about sex or passion. Forced sex is an act of violence and aggression. It has nothing to do with love. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to do anything sexual without your agreement.
Sexual Violence in your Relationship
The dominant belief has been that once in a relationship or marriage, consent for sex is always there, as it is seen as part of the relationship. However, recently this has started to be questioned and now consent should always be sought for sex, in any relationship, including marriage.
Sexual violence in your relationship can take many forms, such as repeatedly insisting a partner to have sex; emotionally blackmailing them into feeling guilty; buying gifts and expecting sex in return; raping the partner or forcing them into sexual acts.
Sexual violence in a relationship is rarely an isolated incident. It often occurs alongside other forms of abuse, including physical and emotional abuse. For instance, the majority of women who are physically assaulted by an intimate partner have been sexually assaulted by that same partner.
SEX IS NOT A CURRENCY.
If a partner pays for something, you do not owe them and need to repay them in any sexual way. If he/she wants to pay for something, it should be because they want to and are not expecting anything in return.
Sex must be desired and wanted by both parties in the relationship. Remember that, whatever happens, you DO NOT ‘owe’ sex to your partner. Even if you’ve had sex before.
CYBER VIOLENCE
Cyber violence is the use of technology to cause, facilitate, or threaten violence against individuals that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, psychological or economic harm.
Acts of cyber violence may involve different types of harassment, violation of privacy, sexual abuse and sexual exploitation and offences against social groups or communities as well as direct threats or physical violence and other forms of cybercrime.
Cyber violence is as harmful as offline violence, as the consequences of it can be as bad as the ones produced by violence in the physical world, including affecting someone’s mental health and wellbeing.
CYBER VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS:
Different studies show that girls and women are more likely to be the victims of some types of cyber violence, such as cyber sexual harassment, abuse and cyber stalking. It is estimated that one in ten women have already experienced a form of cyber violence by the age of 15.
Women and girls who have experienced sexual harassment, stalking or violence from an intimate partner ‘offline’ are also often victims of ‘online’ violence from the same person.
What is ECONOMIC VIOLENCE
Economic violence or financial abuse is when one person controls another persons’ finances, deciding how the money is to be spent or saved thereby making the person/ victim dependant on them.
As teenagers it may be possible that this kind of violence doesn’t occur in such ways, as the money we have depends on our parents and caregivers. However, a partner can control your time and how you manage it and with this prevent you from earning money.
Imagine, for example, it’s summertime and you really want to work at that coffee shop, or babysit, because you want to earn some side money, but your partner prevents you from doing this.
Another example is when your partner decides how you spend your money or is making you pay for common expenses all the time.
