Ghosting is when someone ends a relationship by cutting off all contact with the other person without giving any kind of explanation. It’s a behaviour that may leave the person who receives it desperate and completely doubting themselves. The most common situation is when a person meets someone, most commonly through social networks, talks for a while and after some kind of sexual encounter the other person disappears.
So why would someone do this?
- A lack of honesty and transparency. Where the other person isn’t honest in what they want and why they are connecting with you. If they only want sex, or to feel good about themselves but know you want more they make an effort to be all you want until they have got what they want. Yuk! And then disappear. Mmmmm wonder how all their other relationships are going in their life with this kind of behaviour .. including the one they have with their self.
- They weren’t interested or didn’t feel the same but don’t have the courage to communicate with you.
- Because it is become more common and ‘acceptable’ to do .. for someone to not care about other people and their feelings.
- There are many people who are very hurt and scared of intimacy and being in a relationship with someone as they fear getting hurt if they commit or have feelings for someone. So prefer to play tough and instead show no feelings.
The less we accept this behaviour the less space there is for it to be acceptable.
If this happens or has happen to you don’t blame yourself. Sure, we can always reflect on relationships and encounters to learn from our experience. For example, did you feel something wasn’t right but ignored this? Reflection helps us to grow and evolve as a person but remember we are not responsible for others uncaring, disrespectful or cowardly actions.
Take it as a stop point to reflect on your values and the needs you have. Offer yourself space to cherish and appreciate yourself more and also a space to learn from this for your future relationships.