Category > Bullying, Violence & Abuse
How to help a friend who is being abused?
Watching a friend endure dating violence often leaves you feeling helpless and wanting to do something more to help them. By initiating a conversation about the violence, you are showing the victim that you care, and that she/ he is not alone.
- Tell the person who is being abused that you are concerned for his or her safety. Make it clear that you know about the abuse, and that you are concerned. Tell your friend that he or she does not deserve to be abused.
- Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for; instead, talk to your friend about the choices they have and let your friend know that you believe them.
- Don’t pressure your friend to break up with their partner, and don’t put down their partner, as this may drive your friend away.
- Acknowledge that the abuse is not the victims fault. Remind the friend that the abuser is responsible for the abuse. Tell the person that they are not alone.
- Be supportive and patient. It may be difficult for the person to talk about the abuse. Let your friend know that you are available to listen or help any time.
- Avoid judging your friend. The person may break up with and go back to the abuser many times before finally leaving the relationship. Do not criticize your friend for doing this, even if you disagree with the choices they make.
- Encourage the person to talk to others who can provide help and guidance. Offer to help the person talk to family, friends, a teacher/staff at school or to help them find a counselor or support group. If your friend decides to go to the police offer to go with them, but make sure you don’t do the talking when you get there.
- Do not confront the abuser during an act of violence as it could be dangerous for you and your friend. It is best to call the police or get help from an adult in violent situations.
- Remember that you cannot ‘rescue’ the person who is experiencing the abuse. It is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt. However, your friend must be the one who decides what to do. Your job is to be supportive.
- Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for; instead, talk to your friend about the choices they have and let your friend know that you believe them.
- Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for; instead, talk to your friend about the choices they have and let your friend know that you believe them.
- Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for; instead, talk to your friend about the choices they have and let your friend know that you believe them.
