Values and Standards - Are we responsible with our feelings and actions?
When it comes to relationships it seems that we have set our standards really low. Why?
Could it be that we are so scared of getting hurt that we have developed defense mechanisms to protect us? The defense mechanisms could be:
- I don’t want a relationship, just friends with benefits
- I only want to link up with people
- I just want to have sex
- I don’t want any commitment
- I don’t want people to get to know the real me
- I don’t want to get hurt
- Dating is too serious and takes a lot of effort
So, if we feel any of the above, we are being honest yes, but what does this create in society? It creates disposable relationships based on our needs. Disposable relationships that separate true intimacy and sex so relationships become like a ‘consumer good’ .. a way we can get relief or feel ‘better’ about ourselves without caring about the other person.
So what happens if this is all we see out there but it’s not what we would like?
This is where values and standards come in, to learn not to drop or lower your values and standards of what you feel is important in a relationship just to be with someone.
What is a value or standard?
A value is something you regard as important.
A standard is something you won’t drop and is in line with a value that is held as important.
Examples:
‘I value respect in all of my relationships so if someone is disrespectful, I won’t tolerate this and will call it out letting them know’
‘I value and respect my body so won’t link up with someone for sex as I want more than this in a relationship’.
Knowing what your values and standards are supports you in not only loving yourself to the max 💥 but in having strong and healthy relationships with everyone else #rolemodel✨
