When it comes to sex all too often our senses and sensuality are missed out completely! It can be rushed or a tick-box for someone to say they have ‘done’ it, with one person feeling great while the other person might not feel so great and it just felt mechanical with no true connection or intimacy.
What about first learning to bring that PLEASURE to you? This is super simple and can be fun.
⭐ Senses Star ⭐
Picture a star, and on one of each points of the star put: touch, smell, taste, sound, sight.
Time for you ❤️
Put aside a time and space for you to complete the Senses Star. For each point feel what’s important for you. What do you love to touch, smell, taste, hear or see?
For example, touch could be when someone in the family or a friend hugs you, or you might have a snuggly/fluffy blanket or jumper that you love, or it could be stroking a pet, playing with your hair, wearing satin pyjamas or ALL of these!
For smell what do you like smelling? It could be a favourite perfume, the smell of freshly cut grass or freshly washed clothes, or a favourite shower gel (this could also be touch as well when you use it).
What´s your favourite taste? Do you like the sweet taste of a mango or prefer the taste of a sour green apple? Or do like juice instead of the actual fruit, or maybe fruit isn’t your thing at all? Exploring what we like supports developing more of an intimate relationship with ourselves and becoming more aware of our senses.
Do you enjoy hearing raindrops fall onto a roof or the ground, the ringtone of your phone or listening to your favourite artist when in a car? The sound of someone’s voice or the sound of the sea?
What do you enjoy seeing? Sunrises, sunsets, clouds in the sky, crowds of people or somewhere where there’s loads of space and no people? Do you have a favourite colour or like a specific pattern? Your list can be endless when you include everything you like!
You might find, when you do this, you will probably have quite a few things for each point of the star.
When we are more aware of these senses and what we love, it can support in reducing any stress we experience, aid relaxation, and build our self-worth. And ultimately, it can help build your confidence in a relationship to know what you love and then be able to express this to your partner.
Senses, Sensuality and Pleasure … getting intimate with you partner
Are you aware of every touch on and to your body, even the slightest ones? Do you feel and hear your in- and out-breath you take as well as those of your partner? How does each kiss taste? What can you taste and feel when you are being kissed and or kissing someone’s body? Can you smell the scents surrounding you? Do you notice how your partner’s body smells?
Have you noticed how your body responds to these senses, especially when you let yourself feel and experience them more deeply?
How much you allow of this detail and deepening of the senses while having sex can make a difference to the experience. Then instead of it being just a mechanical movement you start to explore a more intimate relationship with them. Adjusting along the way with what you are feeling, correcting any movement that doesn’t feel good, you realize it is then no longer just sex but that you are making love.
Reference: Adams, J, RUReady