Have you realised, the most important thing about sex is CONNECTION.
Being into someone could be looked at by the level of connection we have felt with that person. It’s not about the time you have spent with someone, whether it‘s one day, one month or a year – it’s about what you feel when you are with them.
So, what do you feel when you are connected to someone? Is it care and respect, an openness and no holding back? Or perhaps you feel you have to pretend you‘re someone else or can‘t share who you truly are? Do you feel confident and held by the person? Do you feel safe? Do you feel accepted for who you are?
Since sex is super intimate and allows yourself to be seen even more than ever, self-love and trust is super important. It is not just about physically being naked but rather staying tender In those moments and not feeling the need or want to hold up a guard or feel/create distance or separation with the other person.
Many have no problem with being physically naked, but when it comes to letting go of the need to perform and to impress, be transparent with how they feel and just be, they struggle.
The connection with your partner is not achieved and can never be achieved by solely taking off your clothes and having sex. It is about every moment leading up to that which sets the foundation for the connection during sex. When it then comes to sex and if you feel uncomfortable or feel your focus is on the performance and on the physicality, allow yourself to stop the moment and communicate what you feel. Perhaps this shows you that you are still holding back or are putting up a guard. Whatever it indicates for you, don’t take it on as a problem but rather an amazing moment to be in touch with what you are feeling and communicate and express this. It allows the relationship to go deeper and to connect even more with your partner and yourself.
The more self-love and self-worth you have the more your relationships will be based on love and respect.
If you need or want something from the other person, or they are needing or wanting something from you we can get easily hurt, have arguments, leading it to become unhealthy.