We keep talking about red flags, toxic behaviours, warning signs, but what are the green flags in your relationships?
The equality wheel below shows us what is healthy (green flags) in relationships.
Being in a relationship that is equal means both people are taken into consideration and treated with love & respect.
Think about your relationships. Can you identify with some of the qualities that appear on the wheel?
Every relationship is about love and this love starts with loving yourself. If you love yourself you are with the other without a need to being loved and you can hold the other in this love. If self love doesn’t come first you are at the mercy of whatever the other offers you as love and are dependent on it, accepting possibly less while admiring and looking up to them. Be in a relationship to share the love you are!
Living in a way so others feel safe and comfortable to be and express who they are. Listening, and being willing to understand others.
Respecting your partner’s right to their own feelings, friends, activities and opinions. Trust is not about controlling your partner. Trust is first of all trusting yourself and being confident with what you feel and communicating this to your partner.
Willingness to have an open and spontaneous dialogue. Having a balance of expressing and listening. Not needing to be right, just listen to what the other person has to say and accepting that this is their reality. Being clear with what you feel and expressing that openly to the other person, being willing to talk things through.
SELF-CONFIDENCE AND PERSONAL GROWTH
Respecting each others personal identity and encouraging each others individual growth and freedom. Supporting the other in their own worth, growth and goals in life.
HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY
Being absolutely honest with what you are feeling. Being responsible for ones actions and behaviour and communicating openly and truthfully. Being able to admit wrong doing and making mistakes or not being able to handle a situation.
Exploring healthy ways to resolve any conflict. Being open to changes and the perspective of the other and the reality they experience.
When a problem has been addressed through open communication and both partners feel settled with the outcome – if one person is holding onto something or feeling bitter or resentful, it is not resolved.
The Equality Wheel is a great checklist to look and see where you are at with these different qualities. Your relationship with these qualities never stops, you continously deepen. It’s also not soley applicable to the relationship with your partner but to every relationship in life.
Check with this wheel to see where you are at and observe yourself with all these important aspects of a healthy relationship.
When avoiding the aspects of this wheel you may end up being on the power and control wheel. For example, by avoiding honesty you may then be manipulating or closing off situations with another.