Category > Gender & Sexuality, Relationships, Sex
Oral, Penis-Vagina or Anal Sex?
Oral Sex
Oral sex is stimulating your partners’ genitals with your mouth (tongue and lips), which can include licking or sucking the vulva (cunnilingus), the penis (fellatio), or anus (analingus). You can have mutual oral sex where partners both give and receive at the same time, also known as 69, or one person giving and the other receiving.
When giving or receiving oral sex it’s easy to single out the part of the body that’s receiving it and just focus on that, and if giving oral sex can have thoughts come in of ‘am I doing it okay or do they like this?’ so still check in with each other, you can use your hands to caress and touch your partner’s body and skin as well so not just focusing on the genital area.
The genitals are super sensitive so the lightest touch can be enjoyable.
Anal Sex
Anal sex is sexual activity involving the anus. The anus and rectum (which the anus leads to) both have very sensitive nerve endings. Regardless of sexual orientation, many people enjoy anal sex.
With anal sex, as with any type of sex, it is super important that both partners are into it. Everybody likes different things and is turned on differently, so when it comes to anal sex, as always, communication with your partner is key as well as knowing that it is something you want to or don’t want to do.
Let go of the scripts you have learned – Especially from porn!
Anal sex has become more popular through porn. However, if porn is making you want to try anal sex, don’t do it like you see it in porn!!!
Anal sex requires a lot of trust, care and lots of lube (which is rarely if ever seen in porn).
Trusting someone to be super careful and respectful with you while having anal sex is just as important as when having any other intercourse or pleasure together. If not, anal sex can be a bad experience which is not loving or pleasurable.
And therefore, if either of you feel pain at any point it’s important to STOP. Sex should never be painful and pain is never something you should feel like you have to put up with!!
You may find that you need more lubricant with anal sex, than with other types of sex, as the anus isn’t self-lubricating. It is also important that you feel in control and comfortable with how deep the penetration goes. The anus has very delicate skin, which is easy to tear and can take a while to heal. So, go slow and gently!
Important:
It’s easier to get an STI (sexually transmitted infection) through anal sex as viruses or bacteria from semen can easily get into the blood stream of the other person. Because of this it is important to always use condoms for anal sex! After anal sex NEVER put the penis or sex toy into a vagina or someone’s mouth! Always wash the penis or sex toy with care before having other types of sex.
Remember to claim what it is that makes it truly enjoyable and that both you and your partner are on that same page.
Penis - Vagina Sex
Vaginal sex is a form of penetrative sex where an erect penis goes into the vagina.
The top of the penis and the clitoris have thousands of nerve endings in the glans, so they are a part of the body that’s really sensitive and, when stimulated, feel pleasure. When people think about sex, they often think it means penis in vagina sex. Some people really like this – which is great for them. However, some people (with penises and vaginas) do it even when they don’t like it because it’s can be seen as the only thing that counts as ‘proper’ sex (this is so not true).
With vaginal sex there can be a risk of pregnancy as well as STI’s so it’s important to discuss contraception with your partner including how you feel and what you like and don’t like.
Remember sex is so much more than our genitals! It’s about connection first and knowing your own body. Sex is the celebration of the connection you have with the other person and it is about celebrating and enjoying each other.
Also remember that you never have to perform when it comes to sex. Just be you.
