Are you reacting...
There is nothing wrong in feeling frustration, anger or hurt as it is telling us something is not right and it is important to be able to express how you feel. However, when we express from frustration, anger or hurt we are in a reaction and the situation doesn’t resolve
When we respond we are allowing ourselves and the other person to have space, because we are expressing how we feel rather than blaming. To respond to a situation is easier when we can accept what we are feeling.
For example, accepting (not ignoring) we have been hurt by somebody or a situation allowing us to communicate clearly what’s going on.
Accept what you are feeling!
Be super honest with yourself and the other person!! With honesty you can unpack the trigger. When we see more clearly what our hurts are, we are getting to know ourselves more and we don’t have to build a wall or fight constantly to protect our hurts.
Our reactions, and with this our emotions, can go from 0 km/h to 100 km/h in a split second. So, tune into your body, take your time and see if you notice distressing feelings arising.
When we truly understand the difference between a reaction and a response we have way more awareness of how to be in situations!
EMOTIONS ARE SUPER VALUABLE DATA and we want emotions to inform us, not rule us. If we have more awareness of how we feel we can observe situations and respond instead of react.
It is always best to BE YOURSELF and not be at the mercy of a situation and your needs. Through understanding yourself and your needs you set the foundations to be you!
Steps to support this:
STOP and feel your body. What’s going on in your body? Is your breath racy, are you sweating, are you hands or your body tense, are you anxious, etc. These are signs that something is not right.
BREATHE Just concentrate on your breath and not on what is happening around you, the breathing helps you to connect back to yourself.
ASK yourself what you are reacting to: What exactly hurt you? If you are feeling angry look at what is it that makes you feel so angry? Do you feel let down, rejected, not trusted, not loved, etc.
ACT on the situation. If you feel that you can communicate without reaction and aggression and express what you are feeling, do it. If not walk away and get space to re-connect back to yourself.