How do I know if my boyfriend/girlfriend is abusive? How can I handle it?

A relationship is about two people loving and caring for each other. When if comes to relationships there is no place for violence, abuse or trying to control a partner. If you have the feeling that something doesn’t feel right in your relationship start noting and observing this. For example, do you feel pressured or humiliated? If something like this has happened once it can easily happen again. Relationship abuse is not a one-off event! It’s a cycle that can get worse if nothing is done about it. Put yourself first!

If you have any feeling that your partner is being abusive towards you then it’s really important that you listen to this. Signs of abuse are:

Emotional abuse:

  • Name calling
  • Threats
  • Humiliation
  • Blame
  • Insults
  • Put-downs
  • Isolations from family and friends
  • Ridicule
  • Intimidation
  • Being ignored
  • Control
  • Pressure
  • Extreme jealousy

Sexual Abuse:

  • Pressuring you to have sex or doing something sexual
  • Taking sexual photos or videos of you when you are not aware of it
  • Forcing you to look at pornography
  • Offering you to another person for sex
  • Making unwanted sexual comments, remarks
  • Touching you sexually without consent

Physical Abuse:

  • Hitting
  • Slapping
  • Punching
  • Kicking
  • Putting you in danger
  • Pulling hair
  • Chocking
  • Burning
  • Using an object to harm

When abuse enters a relationship it’s very hard to take this back to healthy (if it was a healthy relationship in the first place). If you feel you are able to talk to your partner about this, then make sure you are in an environment where other people are around so there is support for you if needed.

If the abuse is severe the priority is your wellbeing and of course your safety. Helpline and support lines in the UK are Help and support lines in the EU are:

You can also contact our team, sign up for our Support Groups or write us an email that you need urgent support.